The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
