They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
