White coat. Heels.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
