The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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