I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just want to make out with him forever
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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