It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
