dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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