false alarm. still invincible.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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