dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
