We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
