Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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