did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
