I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
cat food counts as protein by the way
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
