haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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