Will you blow on my dice?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
