champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
