Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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