Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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