ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
