I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
