She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
and you fell through a lawn chair
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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