Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I am available for nakedness
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize