weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
