her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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