Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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