quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I want a musical about memes.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
