Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
