who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize