I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
