Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
