i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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