i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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