I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
