dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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