I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
