Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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