Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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