It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
