haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
