He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
