The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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