i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Fuck appropriateness.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
