Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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