It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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