I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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