Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize