Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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