So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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