We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
