At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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