Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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