please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I wear drunk well.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize