Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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