he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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