I don't remember. Are we still dating?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
