yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
