the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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