I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
its not stalking. its research.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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