if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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