oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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