Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
