My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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