Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
