Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
