Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
ttyl tear gas
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
