You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?