i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.